[lol, slightly depressing entry ahead. and it's long.]

Sure, the quote is from 'A Streetcar named Desire'. Sure, it has absolutely nothing, NOTHING to do with what I'm using it for. But in a strange, twisted way, it's true.

I know by writing this journal I risk on having people I know see this and possibly spread the word, but I sincerely hope they don't.

See, I can't talk to my friends. I always feel like even though I'm still immature for my age, I'm at a separate level from them. They're still stuck on guys and parties and I'm already thinking about what's going to happen to me in the next five years. To be honest, it terrifies me. My mom and dad overprotected me as a child and, as a result, I feel like I missed out on a lot that I shouldn't have, things that could've helped me or hurt me. I feel like I'm not prepared for what life has in store and, once they're gone, I won't know what to do with myself.

I write this here because, for the most part, the people that might read this are complete strangers to me. From what I've noticed, I've received more kindness from people that are miles and miles or states and countries away from me. It's why I can't tear myself away from my computer--it's my second life, really.

Still, even now, I feel like everyone's starting to leave me. I'm still here with my friends and, even though they're immature, they're still HERE. But what about when they're gone? The people I know online are already moving on, but I'm still stuck where I am. I don't feel like I've changed for the better or for the worst. In the end, I feel like I'm just going to end up in some kind of limbo.

It's ironic that I'm going to gun for a degree in psychology, huh?

<3 Tracy

P.S. Stick around and you'll get to hear the chronicles of my love life. ;D